You Do Not Have to Have Your Life Figured Out

“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go, and see what happens.” 

-Mandy Hale

Last weekend an old friend from varsity sent me an inbox on Facebook. We had not spoken for a while since I left varsity. Naturally, such interactions will lead to questions like, “Whatsup?” “What are you doing with life?” “What have you been doing lately?” and so forth. As someone who’s relatively open about her life, I was honest to tell my friend that I dropped out from school and I still don’t have anything tangible planned out for myself.

Little did I know that my openness would pose to be a problem. The door of being placed under severe scrutiny had been opened, as a result of what my life path looks like right now. I, therefore, bore the brunt of a long, and probably well-intentioned speech about how I’m not living the life I’m ought to be living because “You are capable of so much more and you shouldn’t just be sitting around at home doing nothing”, as emphasised to me. I fumed, because at a fundamental level, as well intentioned ‘the talk’ may have been, the words made me feel like my life was not good enough, it lacked in substance.

This whole encounter made me come face-to-face with the reality of the continuous pressure that we as young people get- not just from society but also our loved ones, to be and do more. Our value as individuals is often intricately intertwined with how much we are achieving, how productive we are and what goals we have in place for ourselves. Should you live anything short of that, you are seen as wasting away your life and living below your potential.

“I am a young lady who is worn out by trying to attain the things deemed as important, as a way of performing my value and worth as an individual.”

Although it is that time of the year where everyone has all these elaborate plans, resolutions and goals for the year 2017, that is not what my life is like presently. I don’t know where my life is going, but I do not feel like I’m living a less than life. If anything, the space I’m in has allowed to me to learn to live an anxious-free life- a life of having always stressed about the future and the next moment and what I’m ought to be doing with it.

And living in a time where there’s this big boom, and seemingly sudden splurge of young dreamers, movers and shakers, we need to make it okay for people not to have their lives figured out. We need to allow the people around us to grow and find their own feet in this big, big world of adults who seem to be ‘adulting’ quite well. We need to understand that what you see and perceive as success may not be the same standard of “making it” for the next person.

“We might have lost direction of the path that our lives are taking and probably do not know how to get back on route. But, that’s okay.”

We are enough as we are. We are probably yet to realise our fullest potential, but that does not take away from the fact that YOU ARE NOT in any way INADEQUATE in whatever way you are showing up in this world at this current moment. We won’t always have all the answers. Or know what’s the next step of our lives while still picking up the broken aspects of it. We might have lost direction of the path that our lives are taking and probably do not know how to get back on route. But, that’s okay. That is perfectly alright. We should not take the pressure from outside “to be something” and internalise it and make it our burden. Some things are honestly not ours to carry in life.

I too was once a crazy goal-chaser, but in chasing after my goals, I lost myself. Now I’m living one day at a time, with no particular destination that I’m rushing to. And for the first time in my life, I appreciate the person that I show up as in life without mindlessly running after the shadows of the next “better versions of myself” and consequently losing appreciation of my life because I’m chasing after a better and presumably more accomplished one. I am a young lady who is worn out by trying to attain the things deemed as important, as a way of performing my value and worth as an individual.

I have now set my sight on living a life that is meaningful to me, from the inside out, although I am still figuring out how that looks. And perhaps that is where the beauty, adventure and mystery of life lies- not knowing what the next moment will present to you or where the next step will take you.

12 thoughts on “You Do Not Have to Have Your Life Figured Out

  1. I started off the year by proclaiming to the world how i wouldnt be setting any resolutions for this year, how i would just take life as it is one step at a time as i had felt that the pressure i was placing on myself to succeed in previous years had been unhealthy. Needless to say i was told how that simply means i dont want to succeed(never knew success came with a manual). Im just glad that someone in this world shares the same sentiment. I can truly say a weight has been lifted off my shoulder and for the first time in a while i dont need sleeping tablets or mood pills to get a good nights rest.

    1. Yaaay! So happy to read this, that’s so amazing, thank you for sharing your journey Kay.

      I think it’s really necessary for us to take things easy at certain points in our lives and protect our peace of mind and mental health at whatever cost.

  2. Kats 🙂 you have an amazing blog, what do they want from you? lol <3 … I think it's unnecessary pressure to expert every single human being to have a plan for their lives, I mean we are different. Do I need to write down my plans? really? can't I carry them in my heart and seize opportunities when they come my way or make opportunities or whatever. You once told me that you would like to be a social entrepreneur and I think you are doing great. You have a blog and people love it and you are a social entrepreneur 🙂 . It's okay not to have a plan, after all God always amazes us anyways with his own plans, we just have to trust him and take each day as it comes.

    1. Thank you so much for this comment Sanele. ❤❤❤

      And I really love that you say it’s unnecessary pressure to expect every person to have a plan for their lives.

      I appreciate your encouragement.

  3. Mat. 6.34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

    God has a plan for you as long as you do that which will please Him, which you are already doing in your blog by encouraging people and helping them see their value in this world. Keep up the good work don’t worry God gut ya :).

  4. This is awesome. I was so much under pressure trying to get my degree at wits, i got it after 7 years, but it broke me, im just so tired. And right now theres more pressure; people expects us to have everything figured out, good paying jobs, cars, nice apartments, boyfriends, marriage.
    Who said all of those things are the standard really?? Im not studying this year, i just need a break, im taking one step at a time, God will make a way for me. I Just need a peace of mind and to be content. Thank you Katz.

    1. Wow Khanyi! I cannot imagine how painful it must have been getting that degree. I am really happy that you made the choice to take a break and recuperate if necessary. And you are absolutely right, those things are really not standard, we ought to live our lives at our own paces and attain things that only bring fulfilment to us.

      May God bring all the light you need in your life and may He guide your steps in all you do.

  5. Had to revisit this post as I am really finding it hard to decide what my next step in life is. I may have been through it before but I needed to be reminded that ” I don’t need to have it all figured out” .
    Thanx Katz! Keep blogging!

    1. Millicent, I’m glad that this post could be some sort of anchor for you in the crossroad you may be facing. I’m also honoured that this post is something that you thought of in the midst of the confusion.

      May you have all the clarity that you need and trust yourself to take the necessary steps in the right direction, whatever that may look like.

      Lots of love❤

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