I was a young 18-year-old, in the year 2012, beaming with so much hope and ambition. I was anxiously waiting to step into the premises that would transport me into the future that I have long dreamt of- becoming a graduate and repaying in heartfelt gratitude all that my single mum had sacrificed for me to be successful. However, my journey through university was not as pleasant as I had naively thought it would be. And four years into my varsity career, I had experienced two academic exclusions, one near financial exclusion, depression & anxiety and finally dropping out. I was a struggling varsity student for a great deal of my academic career. I was a struggling varsity student for a great deal of my academic career at the University of Cape Town. Read More
“If any female feels she needs anything beyond herself to legitimate and validate her existence, she is already giving away her power to be self-defining, her agency.”
Interesting, similar events have been taking place in two of my favourite local dramas, Uzalo and Greed and Desire that got me thinking. In them, we have women who had been in dating relationships with these men and fell pregnant during the relationship. The guys promise and see to it that they marry their girlfriends “to do right by them and their families” but before the lobola negotiations the women miscarry. The women become gripped by fear and decide to withhold the tragic information from their soon to be husbands because “if he finds out I’m no longer pregnant he won’t marry me anymore”. So they fake their pregnancies and adopt children masking them as their own. The men marry them with impressions that the women are carrying their babies only eventually to find out that it is not so as their marriages progress.
In as much I don’t condone what these female characters had done (lying is just a huge deal breaker for me), I found my heart bleeding for them. I do not entirely fault them with the way they handled their miscarriages. Because I believe that as a society we have created this symptom that is only the surface of the greater problem. Read More