look yourself in the eye when you feel most hurt
when you feel less likely to love again
when you are barely able to stand up straight because the pain runs deeper than you are willing to go—
and love yourself entirely anyway.
—alex elle, resillient
I was lying supine on my bed, face looking up the ceiling. Suddenly, imminent tears burned behind my eyes, and shortly after that, the tears rolled down the side of my eyes. At that moment, I felt my heart break. As if no longer strong enough to carry the weight of the pain that kept piling up on it.
I wanted to ignore these feelings, brush them aside. But I did something that I’ve never done before… My right hand gravitated to my chest and began to rub on it soothingly and as if instinctively, I whispered three times to myself, “It’s okay Katli.” And indeed it was okay, not because I was hurting but because I was hurting and I was there for me. All the tears just came gushing out, as I allowed myself to feel the pain because I showed up for myself when I needed it most.