The Fertile Wound®

How to Love Freely When You Fear Abandonment

May 4, 2021 2 Comments 86 views

Sometimes people leave & none of it is under our control.—Aver Stu Today is my father’s birthday. For me, my father’s birthday used to be what Father’s Day tends to be for girls with estranged fathers—a day that is a reminder of our painful loss or how unwanted we are. The one-sided relationship that I had with my father growing up set in motion for me how I would later show up in my adult relationships with the opposite sex. My fear of abandonment had made the experience of loving people a very heavy and chaotic experience for me. My …

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Blossoming Heart

For Adults Who Learnt How to Hide Their Big Feelings

Jan 18, 2021 0 Comments 160 views

We come from homes where we barely saw our parents cry even in the face of dire hardship. Or if we did, they would excuse and downplay the teary sparkles in their eyes. Our parents practically modelled for us to never vocalise our pain. It is from our parents that we were shown how to gather ourselves as quickly as we can and portray our strength to the world because apparently, nobody should ever see you “weak” and vulnerable. So, we too grew up to be adults who feel so much and yet…

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Fruitful

How Patriarchy Gaslights Women

Oct 23, 2020Jan 18, 2021 0 Comments 253 views

Yesterday afternoon, I found myself just thinking about my online interactions and how I’ve become silent on the things that have always mattered most to me, particularly around sexism and patriarchy. I asked myself what happened. Almost instantly my inner voice retorted back and said, “We don’t speak anymore because we got tired of having men and patriarchy gaslight us whenever we spoke up about the ways they hurt us”.

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Blossoming Heart

To Those Who Are Terrified of Letting Happiness In

Sep 14, 2020Sep 15, 2020 0 Comments 343 views

I always felt more peace when I was hurting or playing out unhappy scripts in the story of my life because that’s the only thing that has ever made sense. Pain seemed like the most consistent thing in my life. And anything that rocked up in my life that seemed to contradict that narrative? I became greatly anxious and restless because happiness was a very threatening thing in my world because of the unfamiliarity of it. So, on the arrival of happiness, I always made countdowns to when it would leave.

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Blossoming Heart

There Is Romance in Friendship Too

Aug 22, 2020 0 Comments 527 views

…we miss out on experiencing all the love there is to experience in this world because it does not come in our most ideal packaging. We are constantly putting a magnifying glass on the love we lack rather than the one we are already blessed with. And then wonder why our lives feel so empty. We don’t get to know the full spectrum of love and romance because we draw lines as to where and how it can be encountered. I mean, all the ways that I have always desired for my life partner to love me? Are the very same ways that my friends have loved and shown up for me.

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