The Fertile Wound®

Why Motivational Speaking Is Not the Girl She Thinks She Is

May 26, 2021 2 Comments 238 views

No one can tell what goes on in between the person you were and the person you become. There are no maps of the change. You just come out of the other side.—Stephen King One of the guys that I dated in my first year of university was such a huge fan of motivational talks. Naturally, as a result of our proximity, he tried to get me hooked into them too. But he failed. I never found resonance in someone telling me how to become my “best self”. Being given “10 simple steps” to become wealthy and live my best life …

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Blossoming Heart

How to Love Freely When You Fear Abandonment

May 4, 2021Jul 24, 2021 2 Comments 414 views

My fear of abandonment had made the experience of loving people a very heavy and chaotic experience for me. My efforts at love have almost always been an attempt at possessing those I love so that they may never leave. From micro-managing their loyalty to throwing “tantrums” whenever it felt like their affections were being drawn away from me to someone else. I had often wondered, why as a great lover of love my relationships often felt like a burden that I couldn’t wait to unburden myself from. That’s because I always tried

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Blossoming Heart

For Adults Who Learnt How to Hide Their Big Feelings

Jan 18, 2021 0 Comments 334 views

We come from homes where we barely saw our parents cry even in the face of dire hardship. Or if we did, they would excuse and downplay the teary sparkles in their eyes. Our parents practically modelled for us to never vocalise our pain. It is from our parents that we were shown how to gather ourselves as quickly as we can and portray our strength to the world because apparently, nobody should ever see you “weak” and vulnerable. So, we too grew up to be adults who feel so much and yet…

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Fruitful

How Patriarchy Gaslights Women

Oct 23, 2020Jan 18, 2021 0 Comments 609 views

Yesterday afternoon, I found myself just thinking about my online interactions and how I’ve become silent on the things that have always mattered most to me, particularly around sexism and patriarchy. I asked myself what happened. Almost instantly my inner voice retorted back and said, “We don’t speak anymore because we got tired of having men and patriarchy gaslight us whenever we spoke up about the ways they hurt us”.

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Blossoming Heart

To Those Who Are Terrified of Letting Happiness In

Sep 14, 2020Jul 24, 2021 0 Comments 567 views

I always felt more peace when I was hurting or playing out unhappy scripts in the story of my life because that’s the only thing that has ever made sense. Pain seemed like the most consistent thing in my life. And anything that rocked up in my life that seemed to contradict that narrative? I became greatly anxious and restless because happiness was a very threatening thing in my world because of the unfamiliarity of it. So, on the arrival of happiness, I always made countdowns to when it would leave.

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