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When My Friends Are Making It and I’m Not

When My Friends Are Making It and I’m Not

So, this post is specially dedicated to every young person who feels like they keep drifting further and further away from their dreams, to every person who feels estranged amongst their friends because they are the only one in the group who is simply just not getting that greatly envied degree or qualification...

Why Motivational Speaking Is Not the Girl She Thinks She Is

Why Motivational Speaking Is Not the Girl She Thinks She Is

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No one can tell what goes on in between the person you were and the person you become. There are no maps of the change. You just come out of the other side.—Stephen King One of the guys that I dated in my first year of university was such a huge fan of motivational talks. Naturally, as a result of our proximity, he tried to get me hooked into them too. But he failed. I never found resonance in someone telling me how to become my “best self”. Being given “10 simple steps” to become wealthy and live my best life …

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How to Love Freely When You Fear Abandonment

How to Love Freely When You Fear Abandonment

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Sometimes people leave & none of it is under our control.—Aver Stu Today is my father’s birthday. For me, my father’s birthday used to be what Father’s Day tends to be for girls with estranged fathers—a day that is a reminder of our painful loss or how unwanted we are. The one-sided relationship that I had with my father growing up set in motion for me how I would later show up in my adult relationships with the opposite sex.   My fear of abandonment had made the experience of loving people a very heavy and chaotic experience for me. My …

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For Adults Who Learnt How to Hide Their Big Feelings

For Adults Who Learnt How to Hide Their Big Feelings

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We come from homes where we barely saw our parents cry even in the face of dire hardship. Or if we did, they would excuse and downplay the teary sparkles in their eyes. Our parents practically modelled for us to never vocalise our pain. It is from our parents that we were shown how to gather ourselves as quickly as we can and portray our strength to the world because apparently, nobody should ever see you “weak” and vulnerable. So, we too grew up to be adults who feel so much and yet…

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How Patriarchy Gaslights Women

How Patriarchy Gaslights Women

Yesterday afternoon, I found myself just thinking about my online interactions and how I’ve become silent on the things that have always mattered most to me, particularly around sexism and patriarchy. I asked myself what happened. Almost instantly my inner voice retorted back and said, “We don’t speak anymore because we got tired of having men and patriarchy gaslight us whenever we spoke up about the ways they hurt us”.

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To Those Who Are Terrified of Letting Happiness In

To Those Who Are Terrified of Letting Happiness In

I always felt more peace when I was hurting or playing out unhappy scripts in the story of my life because that’s the only thing that has ever made sense. Pain seemed like the most consistent thing in my life. And anything that rocked up in my life that seemed to contradict that narrative? I became greatly anxious and restless because happiness was a very threatening thing in my world because of the unfamiliarity of it. So, on the arrival of happiness, I always made countdowns to when it would leave.

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