Yesterday afternoon, I found myself just thinking about my online interactions and how I’ve become silent on the things that have always mattered most to me, particularly around sexism and patriarchy. I asked myself what happened. Almost instantly my inner voice retorted back and said, “We don’t speak anymore because we got tired of having men and patriarchy gaslight us whenever we spoke up about the ways they hurt us”.
There is a need for us to talk about redefining black parenthood and its toxic aspects which have been so detrimental to so many children in black families.
I was not always the person that I am today. I was not always a critical thinker or viewed the world the way I now see it. I didn’t always question things, but I was once rather comfortable with the status quo and naively holding on to certain ideas without ever thoroughly engaging on them.
…men are expected to prove and perform their manhood and masculinity by how well they can provide not just for themselves, but for those around them. If a man is incapable of playing the role of provider, he often questions his worth, and society sees him as less than and not man enough.
I was a struggling varsity student for most of my academic career. I faced exclusions, various traumas and after reaching my breaking point, I dropped out.
We have created such unlevel playing fields between relationships amongst heterosexual men and women. Women will pull all the strings that they can to get a man to give her a marriage proposal. As women, we will fight, sweat and even act out of character just to obtain the last name of the men we love; because it is women’s ears that marriage has been preached to louder than it has been to the ears of men.