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Expectting men to be providers

Why Expecting Men to Be Providers Is Harmful

Posted on May 4, 2017Jul 7, 2020 4 Comments 585 views

…men are expected to prove and perform their manhood and masculinity by how well they can provide not just for themselves, but for those around them. If a man is incapable of playing the role of provider, he often questions his worth, and society sees him as less than and not man enough.

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Women, Men and Marriage

How Women Are Taught to Chase after Men and Marriage

Posted on Mar 3, 2017Jul 17, 2020 5 Comments 564 views

We have created such unlevel playing fields between relationships amongst heterosexual men and women. Women will pull all the strings that they can to get a man to give her a marriage proposal. As women, we will fight, sweat and even act out of character just to obtain the last name of the men we love; because it is women’s ears that marriage has been preached to louder than it has been to the ears of men.

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What A Time To Be Alive

Posted on Oct 12, 2016Jul 17, 2020 0 Comments 575 views

What a time to be alive and witness the winds of change that are sweeping through our world at this current moment. It has been a time of mixed emotions and feelings, a time that has left us feeling really high and yet also low all at once.

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Silent Innocence and Loud Guilt: The Silence of Sexually Violated Womxn

Posted on Aug 7, 2016Jul 17, 2020 0 Comments 549 views

As women who have been sexually assaulted, we become messiahs for the men who violated us, we feel the need to be the ones who bear their sins, and take the blame.

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Our Collective Freedom, Our Responsibility

Posted on Jun 12, 2016Jul 17, 2020 10 Comments 483 views

I am terrified that our society becoming highly westernized, and capitalist ideas taking precedence over our day to day interactions, is taking away from our fundamental nature as black people- “botho” or “ubuntu”. We are losing our human face…

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About The Fertile Wound

Katlego Llale

The Fertile Wound® is a canvas where, as a blogger, my heart’s deepest passion is authentically splashed throughout. The crux of my passion is seeing every one of us growing into and embodying our fullest and healthiest selves...

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My Recent Posts

Why Motivational Speaking Is Not the Girl She Thinks She Is
How to Love Freely When You Fear Abandonment
For Adults Who Learnt How to Hide Their Big Feelings
How Patriarchy Gaslights Women
To Those Who Are Terrified of Letting Happiness In

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When My Friends Are Making It and I’m Not

Blossoming Heart

When My Friends Are Making It and I’m Not

Posted on Dec 15, 2016Jul 17, 2020

There Is Romance in Friendship Too

Blossoming Heart

There Is Romance in Friendship Too

Posted on Aug 22, 2020Jul 24, 2021

How Patriarchy Gaslights Women

How Patriarchy Gaslights Women

Posted on Oct 23, 2020Jan 18, 2021

Being the Other Woman: Tales of a Disorientated Hopeless Romantic

Blossoming Heart

Being the Other Woman: Tales of a Disorientated Hopeless Romantic

Posted on Jan 16, 2018Jul 19, 2020

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Nov 17

Whilst everyone is coming to the end of the year and celebrating their massive feats and visible achievements, I want to send love to everyone who feels like they did nothing with the year. Or that nothing happened for them.

I know we find ourselves in a culture, society and world that weighs our value as adults based on the grand material achievements and accolades we collect. And inevitably, we sadly internalize that and can find ourselves feeling like we are worthless and a waste of space because we don't have the visible and celebrated markers of success.

But I hope you know that just because you did 'nothing' according to the world's standards, I hope you know that doesn't mean you are nothing. Just because you failed in school, in your work, career or relationships, it doesn't mean you are a failure.

And as we come to the end of the year, regardless of what we may or may not have accomplished, I hope we are all affirmed in our inherent value. I hope we see how infinitely valuable we are outside of everything that we see as success. I hope we are reminded that whatever we achieve on the outside will always feign in comparison to the worth and value we carry by simply existing and being here.

Above all, to those of us who feel under-accomplished, I hope we always remember that life is not only found in the highlights and big breaks. That even in the quiet and still moments there's so much of ourselves to realise and find there. And I hope we always meet and appreciate ourselves even in the seemingly dry seasons of our lives.

Love,
Katz

🤎✨

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Jul 28

We tend to size ourselves up against others to check if we have the right to take up the spaces we are doubtful we are worthy of taking up.

The moment we see other people seemingly shining much brightly than we could ever dare to shine, we dim or hide away our light.

When we find our voices not being the loudest in a room, we opt to remain silent.

When we see faces much prettier than ours, we resort to hiding our own.

When we see others much more talented in the areas we wish we could excel in too, we give up on honing our own skills.

And yet, a river does not dry itself up at the sight of the sea. It keeps flowing, it keeps taking up the space it has always been ordained to take up, no matter how much smaller in comparison. Because a river knows that even though it may never equate in stature to the mighty ocean, but its existence is needed in ways that the ocean can never be needed (because sometimes the ocean really doesn't have the range, beloved).

That same truth holds for us too. The quote, “no one is you, that's your superpower” is not a cliché, but a truth that we constantly need to drill within ourselves. Because we seem to forget that there's something that we bring to this world, in our circles, in our communities that nobody else can ever bring, even if it seems less significant than what others are bringing. Nobody can ever have the range to be you! And that's so special in its own right.

Your light may not be the brightest in the room but it is still worthy of shining.
Your voice may not be the loudest but it still deserves to be heard.
Your face might not be the prettiest but it is still worthy of being loved out loud.
You talents may not be the most outstanding but they deserve the respect of utilisation.

And I hope we can quickly come to a place where we believe that the truth about others never needs to erase the beautiful truths we hold of ourselves.

Shine your little light, dear one.

Love,
Katz✨

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#Selfcompassion #SelfCareQuotes #HealingJourney #Healing #QuoteOfTheDay #LifeQuotes #LoveAndLight #DailyAffirmations #SelfLove #YouAreEnough #YouAreWorthy #WellnessJourney #CopingSkills #Coping #Wellness #BeKindToYourself

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Jul 25

This year has felt like one of the most incredibly difficult years of my life. It has been a year where I literally dropped all my responsibilities, put everything on hold so that I can process my pain. I had to be okay with my "strong" looking different to what I've always been used to. I had to be okay with my strong being different to what everyone else says strong looks like.

Today being strong may look like just sleeping from the exhaustion of a heavy heart, and doing just enough to keep yourself alive and afloat. And tomorrow strength may be being able to push through all the hurt and do the impossible.

Strength may not always be the ability to pick ourselves up swiftly. But strength may absolutely look like courage to face the things that hurt when so much of our world thrives on emotional avoidance.

Strength may not always look like having unwavering faith in the face of life's hardships. But strength may look like weeping to God in honest prayer about how unkind life has been to us.

Strength may not always be in being able to push through when our worlds are falling apart. But strength may also be found in us being able to admit when we are running on empty and stopping for however long to refuel and recover.

And for me, this year, strength looked like putting everything in my life on hold while I tended to years of heavy emotions that I have never confronted (because I thought strength meant not letting bad things get in my way). However, today, strength, for me, looks like giving myself a chance to have all the breakdowns that I never gave myself a chance to have because “I need to be strong”. Today, strength, for me, looks like giving almost little to nothing of myself in my work and relationships because I only have enough of me to spare for myself, and myself only.

And grace towards myself is understanding that even if my strength today may look less than, that strength is more than enough because, in the words of Clinical Psychologist, Ziyanda Mavumengwana, “she held the fort and kept me alive”. And whatever our strength may look like today, may we always celebrate it because that's the strength that is currently keeping us alive. 🤎

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May 21

Just a flashback to the days when I used to think my value as an individual is predicated on what I could do for people. I would get anxious if I found myself in connections that didn't expect me to perform my value and prove my worth. I would be unsettled if I found myself being with someone who loved me just simply because I am.

We live in a world that reminds us in many different ways that people are only as worthy as what they do in this world. This world places premium on performance and harshly punishes those who fail to perform. When the world speaks to us about value, it's always about striving to package ourselves in a way that serves the demands of the people around us. We are always urged to earn our place in the world and even earn a place in the hearts of our loved ones.

And this post is a urge to me, and to us to resist in whatever way we can, the need to prove our value. To quickly stop ourselves in our own tracks whenever we find ourselves overextending ourselves to be seen as valuable (because we fear being discarded for failing to be of any use).

I also hope this side of existence also nourishes you with relationships and people that love you simply because you exist. I hope you quit your striving, I hope you never have to twirl for your place in this world because your value is a fact that can never be taken away and, therefore, NEVER needs to be proven.

In not so many words, you are an inherently valuable individual. Your mere existence, the mere fact of your being here, just simply breathing, is a thousand affirmation of just how precious you are. 🤎

Much love,
Katz✨

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#SelfAcceptance #AuthenticSelf #EmpoweringWomen #EmpoweredLiving #MentalWellness #EmotionalHealing #SelfLoveClub #SelfLoveJourney #HealingJourney #TraumaHealing #HealingQuotes #HealingJourney #QuotesToLiveBy #QuoteoftheDay #LifeQuotes #LoveandLight #SoulFood #BeautifulWords #InspirationalQuotes #Inspiration #Inspirational

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May 20

So, this happened yesterday... Only less than a year that this Instagram page went live and it has grown to be 100+ followers bigger.

Thank you so much to each and everyone of you for all the ways you have watered The Fertile Wound with your likes, shares and comments. And I hope this page continues to water and nourish you in ways I can never fathom.

Thank you for believing in a girl's dream and passion, and allowing my words to find a home in your feeds. 🙏🏾🤎

May this be the beginning of bigger milestones. 🥂

Much love,
Katz✨

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#Milestones #Followers #NewFollowers #AuthenticSelf #EmpoweringWomen #EmpoweredLiving #MentalWellness #EmotionalHealing #SelfLoveClub #SelfLoveJourney #HealingJourney #TraumaHealing #HealingQuotes #HealingJourney #QuotesToLiveBy #QuoteoftheDay #LifeQuotes #LoveandLight #SoulFood #BeautifulWords #InspirationalQuotes #Inspiration #Inspirational #MondayMotivation #InspirationalWords #DailyInspiration
#BlackGirlBloggers #BlackGirlBlogger
#BlackWriters

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May 19

Can we ever truly love freely when abandonment has been a very traumatizing part of our lives?

What does being set free from the burden of constantly trying to make people stay look like?

I share my own turning point in my recent blog post.

**LINK IN BIO**

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#NewBlogPost #BlogPost #BlogPostAlert #BlogPosts #FoodForThought #SoulFood #Affirmations #MattersOfTheHeart #BeautifulWords #Reflections #Inspiration #InspirationalWords #DailyInspiration #BlackGirlBloggers #BlackGirlBlogger #BlackWriters #BlackWritersOfInstagram #BlackWriter #BlackWomenWriters #Healing #EmotionalHealing #HealingJourney #Quotestagram #QuotesForLife #BloggersOfInstagram #Blogger

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Apr 10

Recognition is great and all. But people won't always see you in your entirety or ever acknowledge how brilliant you are. However, this will never take away from the unchanging fact that you are brilliant!

A star is still a star even if nobody ever takes note of it. See your own light first and shine in the truth of who you are. 🤎

Love,
Katz✨

#NotesToSelf

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#Reminders #HealingQuotes #HealingJourney #QuotesToLiveBy #QuoteoftheDay #LifeQuotes #LoveandLight #QuotesToInspire #FoodForThought #SoulFood #BeautifulWords #InspirationalQuotes #Inspiration #Inspirational #MondayMotivation #InspirationalWords #DailyInspiration
#BlackGirlBloggers #BlackGirlBlogger
#BlackWriters
#BlackWritersOfInstagram
#BlackWriter #BlackWomenWriters #Transformation #Quotestagram #QuotesAboutLifeQuotesAndSayings
#QuotesForLife
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#Blogger

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Apr 8

“I was a clown,” are words we find ourselves speaking to ourselves whenever we are on the receiving end of some kind of betrayal.

“I was a clown,” is a phrase we use when we carry the shame of being people who loved people who took our love for granted.

And throughout our lives we tend to carry shame that does not belong to us. We carry the shame of being "played". Shamed for having continued giving ourselves wholeheartedly in the midst of disappointment. And we have the label of "clown" plastered across our chests because "how could you be such a fool?" as if the act of giving love is a lowly thing.

Yet, the people we call clowns are the ones who kept choosing to keep their hearts open when they had no reason to. We call clowns the people who keep loving fully even in the face of constant disappointment. We call clowns people who choose to not make their new lovers pay for the mistakes of their old lovers.

Clowns, in fact, are people who we allow into our lives, giving them our one-of-a-kind sort of love and they throw it back at us. Clowns are the people who wake up one day and realize that by playing us, they played themselves and lost some of the most incredible people.

And that's why a clown is a label that I'll never take up for myself. Not now or ever. I'll never shame myself for not changing who I am because of other people's (mis)treatment. I will not guilt myself for not watering down my love because love may have once left a bitter taste in my mouth and the world tells me how I should have known better.

So I hope you never call yourself a clown too. 🤎

Love,
Katz✨

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Apr 3

Truth is... Unanswered prayers suck. They feel like a personal rejection from God. It's one thing to be rejected by people but to feel like God of the universe has turned their back on you? That's a different kind of hurt that can run pretty deep.

Last week, I was having a heart-to-heart with one of my best friends. We were having a chat and trying to unpack why it is so hard for us to trust God's promises and prophecies over our lives? We were talking about our out-of-the-blue encounters with prophets and healers who would approach us to tell us the big and beautiful things that God intends to do with our lives; but how those things almost just bounce right off us. Because if God failed to answer the most basic prayers, what more these grand and unbelievable things?

Because fact is, unanswered prayers can put a dent in your heart. Unanswered prayers can get you questioning God's love for you (especially when He seems to be coming through for everyone else in ways that you desire too). Too many unanswered prayers can find you lowering your "prayer standards" and praying smaller prayers because you just don't know anymore if God can really do these massive things for you. If He could then He would have done them already, right?

But maybe when we forgive God for the unanswered prayers, we allow God to give us new prayers that are better aligned with His perfect will and plan for our lives.
We allow ourselves to pray bigger prayers and dream bigger dreams.
Maybe when we forgive God for the unaswered prayers, we can truly start believing that God was not rejecting us but wanted more and better for us than what we were asking for.
And maybe when we forgive God for all the prayers He never answered, we allow ourselves to lean in His love and trust in His will even when it momentarily feels so imperfect and confusing.

And I hope one day our faith will prove to be worthwhile. 🤎

Much love,
Katz✨

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#Faith #HealingQuotes #HealingJourney

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Mar 25

Lunchtime notifications 🤎

#Inspiration #Motivation #Reminders

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Mar 17

Today I've been thinking about some of my past relationships and all the ways that I may have pushed love away and never gave these almost-beautiful relationships a fighting chance. Truth is, the relationship of our dreams will come at a great cost; it will not fall straight on to our laps. Sometimes the love of our wildest dreams demands that we tear down all the walls that keep it out. Sometimes love demands that we risk letting ourselves be fully seen and fully known. Sometimes love will ask that we see ourselves worthy of it before it makes a home in us.

We want this beautiful love affair and yet, insist on holding on to that heartbreak that happened to us when we were 13. And the thing about love? Love will always demand that we make room for it. In order for love to thrive, it will demand that we pack away the heartaches of yesterday. Love will always demand that we embrace it as if it never broke us just yesterday.

Because truth is, sometimes we give up too easily. Sometimes we demand from our partners that which we are not willing to give ourselves. Sometimes we count ourselves out before love even has a chance to prove itself. Sometimes our walls are up too high. Sometimes our tongues are like venom that poisons love. Sometimes we are too fearful and cannot go into the depths that love demands for us to go.

So, you see? You say you want this beautiful and breathtaking love but are you ready to do the work for it? Are you ready to pay the cost of making yourself vulnerable yet again, to somebody new? Are you ready to let love in and lean into it without worrying if it will still be there tomorrow? Are you ready to confront and put to rest all the demons that may not make for a welcoming place for love?

Because sometimes epic love will demand that we do epic work for it to be all that it can be for us.

#Reflections

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Mar 16

Don't let your own life pass you by waiting for the big milestones. Stop waiting for your life to resemble perfection before you fully immerse yourself in it.

Every part of our lives is meant to be savoured. There is fullness of life to be found even in the seemingly quiet and inactive seasons of our lives.

P.S. Life is happening right now. Give yourself permission to live it.

Love,
Katz ✨

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#Reminders #HealingQuotes #HealingJourney #QuotesToLiveBy #QuoteoftheDay #LifeQuotes #LoveandLight #QuotesToInspire #FoodForThought #SoulFood #BeautifulWords #InspirationalQuotes #Inspiration #Inspirational #MondayMotivation #InspirationalWords #DailyInspiration
#BlackGirlBloggers #BlackGirlBlogger
#BlackWriters
#BlackWritersOfInstagram
#BlackWriter #BlackWomenWriters #Transformation #Quotestagram #QuotesAboutLifeQuotesAndSayings
#QuotesForLife
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#Blogger

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Mar 15

The last few weeks I've been "mourning". Mourning for everything that I wanted to be, that I thought I would be today but am not.

I've had massive dreams for myself and for my life and there's no pain like the one of feeling like you have failed and disappointed yourself (and people who may have been looking up to you).

But I think today is a good day for us to extend to ourselves the gift of forgiveness for everything that we thought we would be but aren't (yet). To forgive ourselves for the dreams we had but haven't yet fulfilled.

We may not be where we wanted to be but we certainly aren't where we used to be. Growth that isn't loud or visible is still growth. Progress that isn't in big leaps is still progress. And that's enough. I hope we remember that that's enough. 🤍

May we be the first people to grant ourselves grace to be undone and "unaccomplished". May we be the first people to love and embrace ourselves even when we feel like we are unworthy.

P.S. Wherever we may be today, it's enough.

Much love,
Katz✨

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#HealingQuotes #HealingJourney #QuotesToLiveBy #QuoteoftheDay #LifeQuotes #LoveandLight #QuotesToInspire #FoodForThought #SoulFood #BeautifulWords #InspirationalQuotes #Inspiration #Inspirational #MondayMotivation #InspirationalWords #DailyInspiration
#BlackGirlBloggers #BlackGirlBlogger
#BlackWriters
#BlackWritersOfInstagram
#BlackWriter #BlackWomenWriters #Transformation #Quotestagram #QuotesAboutLifeQuotesAndSayings
#QuotesForLife
#BloggersOfInstagram
#Blogger

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Feb 8

Life can take a toll on us. Life can force us into a corner and we find ourselves abandoning all our treasured youthful dreams.

But I hope as you step into this new week you have the courage to dream again. You have the courage to ask for and want more in your relationships, in your finances, in your career and all that you hold dear.

P.S. Whatever your heart desires, it is possible. Don't let your past have the final say.

Happy Monday!

Love,
Katz✨

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#HealingQuotes #HealingJourney #QuotesToLiveBy #QuoteoftheDay #LifeQuotes #LoveandLight #QuotesToInspire #FoodForThought #SoulFood #BeautifulWords #InspirationalQuotes #Inspiration #Inspirational #MondayMotivation #InspirationalWords #DailyInspiration
#BlackGirlBloggers #BlackGirlBlogger
#BlackWriters
#BlackWritersOfInstagram
#BlackWriter #BlackWomenWriters #Transformation #Quotestagram #QuotesAboutLifeQuotesAndSayings
#QuotesForLife
#BloggersOfInstagram
#Blogger

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Feb 4

Unsolicited advice:

Love people for you. Love people because that's what you want and that's what will bring you most joy. Love people because it is the truest expression of who you are.

Don't love people because you want to "secure" their love and loyalty. Don't love people as an investment that you are hoping to cash-in on at some later time. Don't love people because you think that will inspire them to love you back. It will end in tears, sana lwam (my love).

Because the harsh truth of life is that, you can't put a secure leash on other people's love [for you] by pouring your love into them. You can love people in the most breathtaking manner and they can still choose to leave or not love you back. You can bend your back for people to the point of breaking and have them never acknowledge it or utter a single “thank you”. You can give people your best love and they can still want a better or different love for themselves.

So, always love because that's what brings you most fulfilment because people won't always show gratitude for it nor will they love you the same way that you've loved them. Love to honour your own soul because people won't always reciprocate or see the weight of what you pour out for them.

Keep resentment at bay and love for you. Love because it affirms who you deeply are as a person.
Love because love is who you are.

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#QuotesToLiveBy #QuoteoftheDay #LifeQuotes #LoveandLight #QuotesToInspire #FoodForThought #SoulFood #BeautifulWords #InspirationalQuotes #Inspiration #Inspirational #MondayMotivation #InspirationalWords #DailyInspiration
#BlackGirlBloggers #BlackGirlBlogger
#BlackWriters
#BlackWritersOfInstagram
#BlackWriter #BlackWomenWriters #Transformation #Quotestagram #QuotesAboutLifeQuotesAndSayings
#QuotesForLife
#BloggersOfInstagram
#Blogger #SettingIntentions #Intentions

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Jan 19

Today love feels like a heavy thing.

You let love in and it can signal the beginning of some of your greatest sorrows.

You open your heart up to love and love can die on you. Love can change its mind about you. Love can wake up one day and decide that you are not worthy of it anymore. Love can suddenly turn it's back on you. You can let love in only to have it walk out again when you have eased yourself into it.

Love is heavy because it can demand you to carry all the grief it's heaped on you, only for it to return and ask you to embrace it again.

And the thing about love? No matter the heaviness of it, we yearn for it so much that we allow ourselves to be burdened by it—letting it in over and over and over and over again. We carry love with so much courage as if we've never been it's casualties—broken and shattered under its weight.

Love is a strangely devastatingly beautiful thing. And on days like today? I don't want it because love feels really heavy.

#ToniMorrison #LoveReflections

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#InMyFeels
#DailyInspiration
#BlackGirlBloggers #BlackGirlBlogger
#BlackWriters
#BlackWritersOfInstagram #Healing #HealingQuotes
#EmotionalHealing
#HealingJourney
#Transformation
#Quotestagram #QuotesAboutLifeQuotesAndSayings
#QuotesForLife

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Jan 18

**NEW BLOG POST**

Where do you begin to openly own your feelings, your sorrows, your sadness and all other "big feelings" when you come from an environment that never validated them for you?

How do you stop feeling shame over the ubiquitous human experience of feeling pain?

Let's unpack this together in my #NewBlogPost

**LINK IN BIO**

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#OwningYourFeelings #BlogPost #BlogPostAlert #BlogPosts #FoodForThought #SoulFood #MattersOfTheHeart #BeautifulWords #Reflections #Inspiration #InspirationalWords #DailyInspiration #BlackGirlBloggers #BlackGirlBlogger #BlackWriters #BlackWritersOfInstagram #BlackWriter #BlackWomenWriters #Healing #EmotionalHealing #HealingJourney #Quotestagram #QuotesForLife #BloggersOfInstagram #Blogger

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Jan 16

What does showing up for your dreams look like for you?

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As the late bloomer that I am, I'm only easing my way into the new year. This weekend for me has been specially dedicated to setting my intentions for the year. I used to be a big dreamer (still am actually) but now I am committed to being a dreamer who is also a doer. So, I'll be reflecting on some of the practical ways that I can reach my goals.

Here is a short list of some of the ways that I'm intending to start showing up for my dreams:

•Breaking down your big goals into small, manageable tasks

•Getting a planner and noting down important dates, appointments and deadlines

•Approaching someone you'd like to collaborate with on an idea that's been gathering dust

•Starting your days an hour earlier and going to bed earlier

•Taking a short online course

•Getting a pocket diary or journal to always have to jot down lightbulb moments pertinent to some of your goals, projects and ideas

P.S. Here's to a fruitful year where we get closer to the realisation of the dreams most precious to us.

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#QuotesToLiveBy #QuoteoftheDay #LifeQuotes #LoveandLight #QuotesToInspire #FoodForThought #SoulFood #BeautifulWords #InspirationalQuotes #Inspiration #Inspirational #InspirationalWords #DailyInspiration
#BlackGirlBloggers #BlackGirlBlogger
#BlackWriters
#BlackWritersOfInstagram
#BlackWriter #BlackWomenWriters #Transformation #Quotestagram #QuotesAboutLifeQuotesAndSayings
#QuotesForLife
#BloggersOfInstagram
#Blogger #SettingIntentions #Intentions

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Jan 15

Sometimes you get so used to things going wrong that expecting the worst is something you've become effortlessly habituated to. And when things do go wrong? You get some sort of relief because the disappointment does not hit so bad (because you "saw" it coming anyway).

Sadly though, on the flipside, what this does is that it takes away the joy from our lives. Constantly being ready for the next worst thing will literally grind us into a persistent state of anxiety.

I believe there is something about being quick to expect the best of situations that instills so much peace and happiness in your soul.

How liberating must thoughts such as be:

What if it all works out?
What if this relationship lasts?
What if they stick around?
What if things start aligning for me?

So, this year let's practice reprogramming our minds to seek out and anticipate all that is good and let's see the tremendous transformation our lives undergo.

P.S. Prioritize your peace, fiercely and always.

Katz✨

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#QuotesToLiveBy #QuoteoftheDay #LifeQuotes #LoveandLight #QuotesToInspire #FoodForThought #SoulFood #BeautifulWords #InspirationalQuotes #Inspiration #Inspirational #InspirationalWords #DailyInspiration
#BlackGirlBloggers #BlackGirlBlogger
#BlackWriters
#BlackWritersOfInstagram
#BlackWriter #BlackWomenWriters #Transformation #Quotestagram #QuotesAboutLifeQuotesAndSayings
#QuotesForLife
#BloggersOfInstagram
#Blogger

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Jan 13

The thing about being human is that we are short-sighted. We can only see the here and now and thus we make judgements about the future based on what we see and feel about today.

But life is teaching me that the past or present are never accurate predictors of where we will be in the future. No matter how dire and bleak things may look today, tomorrow we can wake up to a completely different life.🤞🏿

This is why we never stop hoping. We never stop looking forward to better and happier days (because they are there, for us).

P.S. Everything is coming together for us. ❤️

Love,
Katz ✨

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#QuotesToLiveBy #QuoteoftheDay #LifeQuotes #LoveandLight #QuotesToInspire #FoodForThought #SoulFood #BeautifulWords #InspirationalQuotes #Inspiration #Inspirational #InspirationalWords #DailyInspiration
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thefertilewound

thefertilewound

View

Nov 17

Whilst everyone is coming to the end of the year and celebrating their massive feats and visible achievements, I want to send love to everyone who feels like they did nothing with the year. Or that nothing happened for them.

I know we find ourselves in a culture, society and world that weighs our value as adults based on the grand material achievements and accolades we collect. And inevitably, we sadly internalize that and can find ourselves feeling like we are worthless and a waste of space because we don't have the visible and celebrated markers of success.

But I hope you know that just because you did 'nothing' according to the world's standards, I hope you know that doesn't mean you are nothing. Just because you failed in school, in your work, career or relationships, it doesn't mean you are a failure.

And as we come to the end of the year, regardless of what we may or may not have accomplished, I hope we are all affirmed in our inherent value. I hope we see how infinitely valuable we are outside of everything that we see as success. I hope we are reminded that whatever we achieve on the outside will always feign in comparison to the worth and value we carry by simply existing and being here.

Above all, to those of us who feel under-accomplished, I hope we always remember that life is not only found in the highlights and big breaks. That even in the quiet and still moments there's so much of ourselves to realise and find there. And I hope we always meet and appreciate ourselves even in the seemingly dry seasons of our lives.

Love,
Katz

🤎✨

Whilst everyone is coming to the end of the year and celebrating their massive feats and visible achievements, I want to send love to everyone who feels like they did nothing with the year. Or that nothing happened for them.

I know we find ourselves in a culture, society and world that weighs our value as adults based on the grand material achievements and accolades we collect. And inevitably, we sadly internalize that and can find ourselves feeling like we are worthless and a waste of space because we don't have the visible and celebrated markers of success.

But I hope you know that just because you did 'nothing' according to the world's standards, I hope you know that doesn't mean you are nothing. Just because you failed in school, in your work, career or relationships, it doesn't mean you are a failure.

And as we come to the end of the year, regardless of what we may or may not have accomplished, I hope we are all affirmed in our inherent value. I hope we see how infinitely valuable we are outside of everything that we see as success. I hope we are reminded that whatever we achieve on the outside will always feign in comparison to the worth and value we carry by simply existing and being here.

Above all, to those of us who feel under-accomplished, I hope we always remember that life is not only found in the highlights and big breaks. That even in the quiet and still moments there's so much of ourselves to realise and find there. And I hope we always meet and appreciate ourselves even in the seemingly dry seasons of our lives.

Love,
Katz

🤎✨ ...

thefertilewound

View

Jul 28

We tend to size ourselves up against others to check if we have the right to take up the spaces we are doubtful we are worthy of taking up.

The moment we see other people seemingly shining much brightly than we could ever dare to shine, we dim or hide away our light.

When we find our voices not being the loudest in a room, we opt to remain silent.

When we see faces much prettier than ours, we resort to hiding our own.

When we see others much more talented in the areas we wish we could excel in too, we give up on honing our own skills.

And yet, a river does not dry itself up at the sight of the sea. It keeps flowing, it keeps taking up the space it has always been ordained to take up, no matter how much smaller in comparison. Because a river knows that even though it may never equate in stature to the mighty ocean, but its existence is needed in ways that the ocean can never be needed (because sometimes the ocean really doesn't have the range, beloved).

That same truth holds for us too. The quote, “no one is you, that's your superpower” is not a cliché, but a truth that we constantly need to drill within ourselves. Because we seem to forget that there's something that we bring to this world, in our circles, in our communities that nobody else can ever bring, even if it seems less significant than what others are bringing. Nobody can ever have the range to be you! And that's so special in its own right.

Your light may not be the brightest in the room but it is still worthy of shining.
Your voice may not be the loudest but it still deserves to be heard.
Your face might not be the prettiest but it is still worthy of being loved out loud.
You talents may not be the most outstanding but they deserve the respect of utilisation.

And I hope we can quickly come to a place where we believe that the truth about others never needs to erase the beautiful truths we hold of ourselves.

Shine your little light, dear one.

Love,
Katz✨

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#Selfcompassion #SelfCareQuotes #HealingJourney #Healing #QuoteOfTheDay #LifeQuotes #LoveAndLight #DailyAffirmations #SelfLove #YouAreEnough #YouAreWorthy #WellnessJourney #CopingSkills #Coping #Wellness #BeKindToYourself

We tend to size ourselves up against others to check if we have the right to take up the spaces we are doubtful we are worthy of taking up.

The moment we see other people seemingly shining much brightly than we could ever dare to shine, we dim or hide away our light.

When we find our voices not being the loudest in a room, we opt to remain silent.

When we see faces much prettier than ours, we resort to hiding our own.

When we see others much more talented in the areas we wish we could excel in too, we give up on honing our own skills.

And yet, a river does not dry itself up at the sight of the sea. It keeps flowing, it keeps taking up the space it has always been ordained to take up, no matter how much smaller in comparison. Because a river knows that even though it may never equate in stature to the mighty ocean, but its existence is needed in ways that the ocean can never be needed (because sometimes the ocean really doesn't have the range, beloved).

That same truth holds for us too. The quote, “no one is you, that's your superpower” is not a cliché, but a truth that we constantly need to drill within ourselves. Because we seem to forget that there's something that we bring to this world, in our circles, in our communities that nobody else can ever bring, even if it seems less significant than what others are bringing. Nobody can ever have the range to be you! And that's so special in its own right.

Your light may not be the brightest in the room but it is still worthy of shining.
Your voice may not be the loudest but it still deserves to be heard.
Your face might not be the prettiest but it is still worthy of being loved out loud.
You talents may not be the most outstanding but they deserve the respect of utilisation.

And I hope we can quickly come to a place where we believe that the truth about others never needs to erase the beautiful truths we hold of ourselves.

Shine your little light, dear one.

Love,
Katz✨

•
•
•
•
•
#Selfcompassion #SelfCareQuotes #HealingJourney #Healing #QuoteOfTheDay #LifeQuotes #LoveAndLight #DailyAffirmations #SelfLove #YouAreEnough #YouAreWorthy #WellnessJourney #CopingSkills #Coping #Wellness #BeKindToYourself ...

thefertilewound

View

Jul 25

This year has felt like one of the most incredibly difficult years of my life. It has been a year where I literally dropped all my responsibilities, put everything on hold so that I can process my pain. I had to be okay with my "strong" looking different to what I've always been used to. I had to be okay with my strong being different to what everyone else says strong looks like.

Today being strong may look like just sleeping from the exhaustion of a heavy heart, and doing just enough to keep yourself alive and afloat. And tomorrow strength may be being able to push through all the hurt and do the impossible.

Strength may not always be the ability to pick ourselves up swiftly. But strength may absolutely look like courage to face the things that hurt when so much of our world thrives on emotional avoidance.

Strength may not always look like having unwavering faith in the face of life's hardships. But strength may look like weeping to God in honest prayer about how unkind life has been to us.

Strength may not always be in being able to push through when our worlds are falling apart. But strength may also be found in us being able to admit when we are running on empty and stopping for however long to refuel and recover.

And for me, this year, strength looked like putting everything in my life on hold while I tended to years of heavy emotions that I have never confronted (because I thought strength meant not letting bad things get in my way). However, today, strength, for me, looks like giving myself a chance to have all the breakdowns that I never gave myself a chance to have because “I need to be strong”. Today, strength, for me, looks like giving almost little to nothing of myself in my work and relationships because I only have enough of me to spare for myself, and myself only.

And grace towards myself is understanding that even if my strength today may look less than, that strength is more than enough because, in the words of Clinical Psychologist, Ziyanda Mavumengwana, “she held the fort and kept me alive”. And whatever our strength may look like today, may we always celebrate it because that's the strength that is currently keeping us alive. 🤎

This year has felt like one of the most incredibly difficult years of my life. It has been a year where I literally dropped all my responsibilities, put everything on hold so that I can process my pain. I had to be okay with my "strong" looking different to what I've always been used to. I had to be okay with my strong being different to what everyone else says strong looks like.

Today being strong may look like just sleeping from the exhaustion of a heavy heart, and doing just enough to keep yourself alive and afloat. And tomorrow strength may be being able to push through all the hurt and do the impossible.

Strength may not always be the ability to pick ourselves up swiftly. But strength may absolutely look like courage to face the things that hurt when so much of our world thrives on emotional avoidance.

Strength may not always look like having unwavering faith in the face of life's hardships. But strength may look like weeping to God in honest prayer about how unkind life has been to us.

Strength may not always be in being able to push through when our worlds are falling apart. But strength may also be found in us being able to admit when we are running on empty and stopping for however long to refuel and recover.

And for me, this year, strength looked like putting everything in my life on hold while I tended to years of heavy emotions that I have never confronted (because I thought strength meant not letting bad things get in my way). However, today, strength, for me, looks like giving myself a chance to have all the breakdowns that I never gave myself a chance to have because “I need to be strong”. Today, strength, for me, looks like giving almost little to nothing of myself in my work and relationships because I only have enough of me to spare for myself, and myself only.

And grace towards myself is understanding that even if my strength today may look less than, that strength is more than enough because, in the words of Clinical Psychologist, Ziyanda Mavumengwana, “she held the fort and kept me alive”. And whatever our strength may look like today, may we always celebrate it because that's the strength that is currently keeping us alive. 🤎 ...

thefertilewound

View

May 21

Just a flashback to the days when I used to think my value as an individual is predicated on what I could do for people. I would get anxious if I found myself in connections that didn't expect me to perform my value and prove my worth. I would be unsettled if I found myself being with someone who loved me just simply because I am.

We live in a world that reminds us in many different ways that people are only as worthy as what they do in this world. This world places premium on performance and harshly punishes those who fail to perform. When the world speaks to us about value, it's always about striving to package ourselves in a way that serves the demands of the people around us. We are always urged to earn our place in the world and even earn a place in the hearts of our loved ones.

And this post is a urge to me, and to us to resist in whatever way we can, the need to prove our value. To quickly stop ourselves in our own tracks whenever we find ourselves overextending ourselves to be seen as valuable (because we fear being discarded for failing to be of any use).

I also hope this side of existence also nourishes you with relationships and people that love you simply because you exist. I hope you quit your striving, I hope you never have to twirl for your place in this world because your value is a fact that can never be taken away and, therefore, NEVER needs to be proven.

In not so many words, you are an inherently valuable individual. Your mere existence, the mere fact of your being here, just simply breathing, is a thousand affirmation of just how precious you are. 🤎

Much love,
Katz✨

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#SelfAcceptance #AuthenticSelf #EmpoweringWomen #EmpoweredLiving #MentalWellness #EmotionalHealing #SelfLoveClub #SelfLoveJourney #HealingJourney #TraumaHealing #HealingQuotes #HealingJourney #QuotesToLiveBy #QuoteoftheDay #LifeQuotes #LoveandLight #SoulFood #BeautifulWords #InspirationalQuotes #Inspiration #Inspirational

Just a flashback to the days when I used to think my value as an individual is predicated on what I could do for people. I would get anxious if I found myself in connections that didn't expect me to perform my value and prove my worth. I would be unsettled if I found myself being with someone who loved me just simply because I am.

We live in a world that reminds us in many different ways that people are only as worthy as what they do in this world. This world places premium on performance and harshly punishes those who fail to perform. When the world speaks to us about value, it's always about striving to package ourselves in a way that serves the demands of the people around us. We are always urged to earn our place in the world and even earn a place in the hearts of our loved ones.

And this post is a urge to me, and to us to resist in whatever way we can, the need to prove our value. To quickly stop ourselves in our own tracks whenever we find ourselves overextending ourselves to be seen as valuable (because we fear being discarded for failing to be of any use).

I also hope this side of existence also nourishes you with relationships and people that love you simply because you exist. I hope you quit your striving, I hope you never have to twirl for your place in this world because your value is a fact that can never be taken away and, therefore, NEVER needs to be proven.

In not so many words, you are an inherently valuable individual. Your mere existence, the mere fact of your being here, just simply breathing, is a thousand affirmation of just how precious you are. 🤎

Much love,
Katz✨

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•

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#SelfAcceptance #AuthenticSelf #EmpoweringWomen #EmpoweredLiving #MentalWellness #EmotionalHealing #SelfLoveClub #SelfLoveJourney #HealingJourney #TraumaHealing #HealingQuotes #HealingJourney #QuotesToLiveBy #QuoteoftheDay #LifeQuotes #LoveandLight #SoulFood #BeautifulWords #InspirationalQuotes #Inspiration #Inspirational ...

thefertilewound

View

May 20

So, this happened yesterday... Only less than a year that this Instagram page went live and it has grown to be 100+ followers bigger.

Thank you so much to each and everyone of you for all the ways you have watered The Fertile Wound with your likes, shares and comments. And I hope this page continues to water and nourish you in ways I can never fathom.

Thank you for believing in a girl's dream and passion, and allowing my words to find a home in your feeds. 🙏🏾🤎

May this be the beginning of bigger milestones. 🥂

Much love,
Katz✨

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#Milestones #Followers #NewFollowers #AuthenticSelf #EmpoweringWomen #EmpoweredLiving #MentalWellness #EmotionalHealing #SelfLoveClub #SelfLoveJourney #HealingJourney #TraumaHealing #HealingQuotes #HealingJourney #QuotesToLiveBy #QuoteoftheDay #LifeQuotes #LoveandLight #SoulFood #BeautifulWords #InspirationalQuotes #Inspiration #Inspirational #MondayMotivation #InspirationalWords #DailyInspiration
#BlackGirlBloggers #BlackGirlBlogger
#BlackWriters

So, this happened yesterday... Only less than a year that this Instagram page went live and it has grown to be 100+ followers bigger.

Thank you so much to each and everyone of you for all the ways you have watered The Fertile Wound with your likes, shares and comments. And I hope this page continues to water and nourish you in ways I can never fathom.

Thank you for believing in a girl's dream and passion, and allowing my words to find a home in your feeds. 🙏🏾🤎

May this be the beginning of bigger milestones. 🥂

Much love,
Katz✨

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#Milestones #Followers #NewFollowers #AuthenticSelf #EmpoweringWomen #EmpoweredLiving #MentalWellness #EmotionalHealing #SelfLoveClub #SelfLoveJourney #HealingJourney #TraumaHealing #HealingQuotes #HealingJourney #QuotesToLiveBy #QuoteoftheDay #LifeQuotes #LoveandLight #SoulFood #BeautifulWords #InspirationalQuotes #Inspiration #Inspirational #MondayMotivation #InspirationalWords #DailyInspiration
#BlackGirlBloggers #BlackGirlBlogger
#BlackWriters ...

thefertilewound

View

May 19

Can we ever truly love freely when abandonment has been a very traumatizing part of our lives?

What does being set free from the burden of constantly trying to make people stay look like?

I share my own turning point in my recent blog post.

**LINK IN BIO**

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#NewBlogPost #BlogPost #BlogPostAlert #BlogPosts #FoodForThought #SoulFood #Affirmations #MattersOfTheHeart #BeautifulWords #Reflections #Inspiration #InspirationalWords #DailyInspiration #BlackGirlBloggers #BlackGirlBlogger #BlackWriters #BlackWritersOfInstagram #BlackWriter #BlackWomenWriters #Healing #EmotionalHealing #HealingJourney #Quotestagram #QuotesForLife #BloggersOfInstagram #Blogger

Can we ever truly love freely when abandonment has been a very traumatizing part of our lives?

What does being set free from the burden of constantly trying to make people stay look like?

I share my own turning point in my recent blog post.

**LINK IN BIO**

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•

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#NewBlogPost #BlogPost #BlogPostAlert #BlogPosts #FoodForThought #SoulFood #Affirmations #MattersOfTheHeart #BeautifulWords #Reflections #Inspiration #InspirationalWords #DailyInspiration #BlackGirlBloggers #BlackGirlBlogger #BlackWriters #BlackWritersOfInstagram #BlackWriter #BlackWomenWriters #Healing #EmotionalHealing #HealingJourney #Quotestagram #QuotesForLife #BloggersOfInstagram #Blogger ...

thefertilewound

View

Apr 10

Recognition is great and all. But people won't always see you in your entirety or ever acknowledge how brilliant you are. However, this will never take away from the unchanging fact that you are brilliant!

A star is still a star even if nobody ever takes note of it. See your own light first and shine in the truth of who you are. 🤎

Love,
Katz✨

#NotesToSelf

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#Reminders #HealingQuotes #HealingJourney #QuotesToLiveBy #QuoteoftheDay #LifeQuotes #LoveandLight #QuotesToInspire #FoodForThought #SoulFood #BeautifulWords #InspirationalQuotes #Inspiration #Inspirational #MondayMotivation #InspirationalWords #DailyInspiration
#BlackGirlBloggers #BlackGirlBlogger
#BlackWriters
#BlackWritersOfInstagram
#BlackWriter #BlackWomenWriters #Transformation #Quotestagram #QuotesAboutLifeQuotesAndSayings
#QuotesForLife
#BloggersOfInstagram
#Blogger

Recognition is great and all. But people won't always see you in your entirety or ever acknowledge how brilliant you are. However, this will never take away from the unchanging fact that you are brilliant!

A star is still a star even if nobody ever takes note of it. See your own light first and shine in the truth of who you are. 🤎

Love,
Katz✨

#NotesToSelf

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•

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#Reminders #HealingQuotes #HealingJourney #QuotesToLiveBy #QuoteoftheDay #LifeQuotes #LoveandLight #QuotesToInspire #FoodForThought #SoulFood #BeautifulWords #InspirationalQuotes #Inspiration #Inspirational #MondayMotivation #InspirationalWords #DailyInspiration
#BlackGirlBloggers #BlackGirlBlogger
#BlackWriters
#BlackWritersOfInstagram
#BlackWriter #BlackWomenWriters #Transformation #Quotestagram #QuotesAboutLifeQuotesAndSayings
#QuotesForLife
#BloggersOfInstagram
#Blogger ...

thefertilewound

View

Apr 8

“I was a clown,” are words we find ourselves speaking to ourselves whenever we are on the receiving end of some kind of betrayal.

“I was a clown,” is a phrase we use when we carry the shame of being people who loved people who took our love for granted.

And throughout our lives we tend to carry shame that does not belong to us. We carry the shame of being "played". Shamed for having continued giving ourselves wholeheartedly in the midst of disappointment. And we have the label of "clown" plastered across our chests because "how could you be such a fool?" as if the act of giving love is a lowly thing.

Yet, the people we call clowns are the ones who kept choosing to keep their hearts open when they had no reason to. We call clowns the people who keep loving fully even in the face of constant disappointment. We call clowns people who choose to not make their new lovers pay for the mistakes of their old lovers.

Clowns, in fact, are people who we allow into our lives, giving them our one-of-a-kind sort of love and they throw it back at us. Clowns are the people who wake up one day and realize that by playing us, they played themselves and lost some of the most incredible people.

And that's why a clown is a label that I'll never take up for myself. Not now or ever. I'll never shame myself for not changing who I am because of other people's (mis)treatment. I will not guilt myself for not watering down my love because love may have once left a bitter taste in my mouth and the world tells me how I should have known better.

So I hope you never call yourself a clown too. 🤎

Love,
Katz✨

“I was a clown,” are words we find ourselves speaking to ourselves whenever we are on the receiving end of some kind of betrayal.

“I was a clown,” is a phrase we use when we carry the shame of being people who loved people who took our love for granted.

And throughout our lives we tend to carry shame that does not belong to us. We carry the shame of being "played". Shamed for having continued giving ourselves wholeheartedly in the midst of disappointment. And we have the label of "clown" plastered across our chests because "how could you be such a fool?" as if the act of giving love is a lowly thing.

Yet, the people we call clowns are the ones who kept choosing to keep their hearts open when they had no reason to. We call clowns the people who keep loving fully even in the face of constant disappointment. We call clowns people who choose to not make their new lovers pay for the mistakes of their old lovers.

Clowns, in fact, are people who we allow into our lives, giving them our one-of-a-kind sort of love and they throw it back at us. Clowns are the people who wake up one day and realize that by playing us, they played themselves and lost some of the most incredible people.

And that's why a clown is a label that I'll never take up for myself. Not now or ever. I'll never shame myself for not changing who I am because of other people's (mis)treatment. I will not guilt myself for not watering down my love because love may have once left a bitter taste in my mouth and the world tells me how I should have known better.

So I hope you never call yourself a clown too. 🤎

Love,
Katz✨ ...

thefertilewound

View

Apr 3

Truth is... Unanswered prayers suck. They feel like a personal rejection from God. It's one thing to be rejected by people but to feel like God of the universe has turned their back on you? That's a different kind of hurt that can run pretty deep.

Last week, I was having a heart-to-heart with one of my best friends. We were having a chat and trying to unpack why it is so hard for us to trust God's promises and prophecies over our lives? We were talking about our out-of-the-blue encounters with prophets and healers who would approach us to tell us the big and beautiful things that God intends to do with our lives; but how those things almost just bounce right off us. Because if God failed to answer the most basic prayers, what more these grand and unbelievable things?

Because fact is, unanswered prayers can put a dent in your heart. Unanswered prayers can get you questioning God's love for you (especially when He seems to be coming through for everyone else in ways that you desire too). Too many unanswered prayers can find you lowering your "prayer standards" and praying smaller prayers because you just don't know anymore if God can really do these massive things for you. If He could then He would have done them already, right?

But maybe when we forgive God for the unanswered prayers, we allow God to give us new prayers that are better aligned with His perfect will and plan for our lives.
We allow ourselves to pray bigger prayers and dream bigger dreams.
Maybe when we forgive God for the unaswered prayers, we can truly start believing that God was not rejecting us but wanted more and better for us than what we were asking for.
And maybe when we forgive God for all the prayers He never answered, we allow ourselves to lean in His love and trust in His will even when it momentarily feels so imperfect and confusing.

And I hope one day our faith will prove to be worthwhile. 🤎

Much love,
Katz✨

———————————————

#Faith #HealingQuotes #HealingJourney

Truth is... Unanswered prayers suck. They feel like a personal rejection from God. It's one thing to be rejected by people but to feel like God of the universe has turned their back on you? That's a different kind of hurt that can run pretty deep.

Last week, I was having a heart-to-heart with one of my best friends. We were having a chat and trying to unpack why it is so hard for us to trust God's promises and prophecies over our lives? We were talking about our out-of-the-blue encounters with prophets and healers who would approach us to tell us the big and beautiful things that God intends to do with our lives; but how those things almost just bounce right off us. Because if God failed to answer the most basic prayers, what more these grand and unbelievable things?

Because fact is, unanswered prayers can put a dent in your heart. Unanswered prayers can get you questioning God's love for you (especially when He seems to be coming through for everyone else in ways that you desire too). Too many unanswered prayers can find you lowering your "prayer standards" and praying smaller prayers because you just don't know anymore if God can really do these massive things for you. If He could then He would have done them already, right?

But maybe when we forgive God for the unanswered prayers, we allow God to give us new prayers that are better aligned with His perfect will and plan for our lives.
We allow ourselves to pray bigger prayers and dream bigger dreams.
Maybe when we forgive God for the unaswered prayers, we can truly start believing that God was not rejecting us but wanted more and better for us than what we were asking for.
And maybe when we forgive God for all the prayers He never answered, we allow ourselves to lean in His love and trust in His will even when it momentarily feels so imperfect and confusing.

And I hope one day our faith will prove to be worthwhile. 🤎

Much love,
Katz✨

———————————————

#Faith #HealingQuotes #HealingJourney ...

thefertilewound

View

Mar 25

Lunchtime notifications 🤎

#Inspiration #Motivation #Reminders

Lunchtime notifications 🤎

#Inspiration #Motivation #Reminders ...

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